Open relationships and if they exist

We have been raised to believe a relationship is solely between one man and one woman. These two are expected to be faithful to each other no matter what. But in recent times, discussions about exclusivity in relationships are coming up. What if these two individuals choose to not be exclusive? What if they want to give each other the opportunity to ‘see’ other people and engage those others in a relationship? What if they choose to be in an open relationship?

An open relationship in simple terms is described as where an established couple has mutually agreed to share a non-monogamous lifestyle. This includes either or both parties having other sexual and/or romantic partners. This type of relationship is carried out with the consent and knowledge of all parties involved.

Key points to take home from this is that the agreement is mutual and consent is provided from both parties. One may ask, how can you agree to let your partner be involved with someone else? The agreement stems from the fact that they opted out of exclusivity probably because monogamy is constricting to them. The reasons behind the choices are varied, one known fact is that every couple has its sets rules to the arrangement. Call it their very own Ts and Cs.

Open relationships don’t (usually) mean “open to anyone.” According to Matt Lundquist, a licensed clinical social worker and relationship therapist in New York, “this is an area where open couples can get into trouble.” Before you enter into an open relationship, it’s important to agree on who is fair game to get intimate with; if your terms of the open relationship permit intercourse. Part of the reason for setting some rules is just practical, for instance using protection to reduce your risk of getting, or sharing, an STI.

Once you’ve established boundaries, experts recommend taking the time to dig into the nitty gritty like how much time you’ll each spend on your open-relationship activities.

 

The one golden rule you should follow above all others- like all issues that come up in your relationship, be honest. If one of your open relationship rules is no longer working, revisit it and make some changes.

Some might say the rules and conditions might seem like a job or form of employment and not an actual relationship. But if the partners are up for it, the rules help navigate the situations without anyone getting hurt. Both physically and emotionally.

Open relationships may not be everybody’s cup of tea, but for those who engage in the practice, they have nothing but praise for it.

It is prudent to note that an open relationship can only work is both individuals agree to it. If you want to bring up the suggestion to your partner, don’t be offended if they turn you done, remember, it’s not for everyone. 

Joys of motherhood that nobody talks about

If you’re already a mother, you understand better what being one means. It goes beyond just giving birth.

Parenthood is one of the most important roles an individual gets to play in life. As much as taking care and raising an infant can be practiced by both parents, the intensity of it is mostly felt by mothers.

Motherhood, especially for new mothers, comes with frustration and anxiety triggered by lack of sleep and official sick days.

But despite all that, motherhood offers fulfilling joyous moments that are worth the pain, struggle and sacrifice it demands.

1. Bonding

One of the best times a mother gets to bond completely with her child is during breastfeeding. This is a fulfilling emotional moment that appeals to all mothers. While breastfeeding, a mother gets to give part of herself to her baby. Despite the back pains and nipple soreness, breastfeeding brings the baby closer to the mother who in turn grows to love the mother unconditionally.

2. Emotional experience

In case you have been on an emotional rollercoaster and can’t figure out why, this is because motherhood renders one vulnerable to every spectrum of emotion. A mother gets overwhelmed with different feelings from intense, unconditional love to frustration and sadness, for instance when you’re not getting enough sleep or your child isn’t eating well. A mother is more in tune with her emotions and this makes her more alert and assertive especially when tending to her child.

3. Teaching responsibility

There is nothing that warms a mother’s heart than watching her children learn responsibility be it by loving and caring for one another or doing chores around the house. There’s a sense of accomplishment when you see your child make her own bed, wash a few dishes or even entertain her sibling so she can get things done around the house.

 

4. Fun activities

If you have children of different ages developing games that you can all participate in becomes a fun activity. This assures that no child feels left out and you get to spend time with all of them and watch them have fun. This helps mothers learn their children’s favourite pass times. Playing games together also affords a mother the opportunity to teach her children new lessons like sharing, colours, new words, etc.

5. Developing a mind

A mother has the opportunity to shape a person’s mind. A mother gets to try out lessons and watch how they affect their child. This is a perfect opportunity to instil good qualities in your child and smoothen out the bad ones. As a mother, you are your child’s first teacher.

6. Watching kids be kids

Teaching your child the ways of life is exciting but not as exciting as watching them go through the different stages of childhood, meeting their milestones and develop their personalities. Kids can be thrilling to watch especially during those moments when they discover how to do things on their own. This is something you need to enjoy while it lasts because they grow up so fast and before you know it, they are independent and gone.

7. Emotional healing

If you ask any mother, or parent out there, there’s nothing that brightens up their day than their child’s smile or laughter. The joy of being with them and hanging out will turn any bad day good. Children are a ray of sunshine. Even just listening to a child talk about how they spent their day in school or with other kids in the neighbourhood is a source of relief from the stresses of day to day life.

Motherhood brings a connection insurmountable to any relationship. This is because it’s a love that grows more and more with each new day

Three pillars of a healthy relationship

Most people believe that if a relationship is healthy that everything is easy. The truth is, no matter how good things are going, the best marriages share three things in common:

First, partners in healthy relationships aren’t afraid to share their lives, thoughts, and feelings with one another. This allows them to connect on a deeper level and build trust.

Second, healthy couples know what real love is. It’s deeper than passing puppy love. It’s not simple infatuation. It’s a real display of respect, support, and emotional intimacy.

Finally, those in happy relationships care for one another throughout good times and bad.

If you want success in your marriage, you need to learn how to let go and open yourself to your partner completely. Taking an online marriage course can help you and your spouse to learn actionable steps for building a healthy relationship, at your own pace. 

Here are three simple secrets that will help you build a healthy loving relationship.

1. Love Conquers All

Showing your partner love means showing them loyalty and devotion. It encompasses your desire to put all of your heart, soul, and energy into making the relationship work, even when times get tough.

Show Your Support

Being supportive is part of showing love to your spouse. No matter what they’re going through, they know that you’re there for them to talk to and lean on in times of distress.

Be Forgiving

Part of loving your partner is forgiving them when they are genuinely sorry. This isn’t a weakness but strength. Forgiveness is a virtue.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You can’t have love in a relationship where there isn’t respect. In order to express real love for your spouse, you must be willing to respect their boundaries and beliefs, even if you don’t always agree.

Love, Sex, and Everything in Between

Of course, you can’t talk love without mention of the bedroom.

Sex has been shown to heighte emotional intimacy and reduce stress, physical intimacy does not have to include intercourse in order to have a positive effect on a relationship.

Research shows that physical affection is strongly related to how satisfied a partner is. The more physically affectionate couples are, the happier they will be. Receiving a loving caress, a massage, cuddle, handhold, hug, or kiss on the lips or face have all been shown to improve relationship satisfaction.

2. Showing Your Partner You Care

Caring about your partner is essential to the success of a healthy relationship. Much of caring for your spouse means doing little things like:

Send them a sweet text

Run their errands for them

Express your appreciation for all they do for you

Say I love you

Write a sweet letter for them

Make their favorite dinner

Say please and thank you

Hug each other just to express your affection

Care for your spouse when they are sick

These are all small and sweet ways that you can show your partner that you care for them.

Communication is a huge part of showing your partner you care. Instead of letting a problem fester without saying anything or let an argument get out of hand, you choose to calmly communicate your feelings to one another.

You do not use a disagreement as an excuse to verbally attack your partner or insult their character.

This is a mature and respectful way of resolving conflicts.

Part of communicating and caring involves listening to your spouse. Understanding their point of view, even if you don’t agree, is beneficial at multiple levels.

First, it will help you have empathy for your partner and see things from a different perspective. This will deepen emotional intimacy in relationships.

Second, an understanding spirit will put your spouse at ease and calm down a defensive attitude.

3. Sharing Everything

Everything, you may ask? Yes, everything.

Sharing is caring. This principle is true for life and healthy relationships.

When you marry your spouse, you merge your lives. Being able to share your lives together will be integral to your success.

Whether you buy a marital home together or invite your spouse to move in, you will be sharing space with your partner. To some, getting to see your partner every waking moment sounds like a dream come true. For those who enjoy their alone time, it may take some adjusting.

Research shows that millennials are more likely to discuss money with their partner than past generations. This is wonderful since you’ll be sharing it now that you live together.

Having a shared bank account means deciding on a budget and staying on the same page about money coming in and out. Even if you don’t open a mutual account, you will both still be contributing to the household and splitting finances in a way that is fair and responsible.

Sharing your life with your spouse is the most important aspect of all. Studies show that couples who share friendships report higher relationship satisfaction. Letting your partner in is the key to emotional intimacy in relationships. You aren’t afraid to share your thoughts, feelings of friendships.

Sharing your time is one of the most important tips of all. After a busy work week, all some of us want to do is come home and relax in front of the television. But in order to maintain happy, healthy relationships, couples need to spend intentional quality time together.

Quality time means your spouse gets your undivided attention. Don’t let your partner be one of the 46.3% of adults who feel snubbed by their spouse for checking their phone.

Spending quality time together will help boost communication and strengthen the marital friendship.

Physical and emotional intimacy in relationships plays a huge role in whether our marriages are successful. Couples must show love and support one other. They must communicate and listen. Finally, they should strive to share their lives fully with one another. Only by doing these things will they be rewarded with healthy relationships